PTSD
by BlueHarlequin
Summary: Indiscretions series. It was downright perverse if you looked at in socially acceptable terms and conventions. Gideon was his mentor, a trusted father figure and many years older than him. Gideon x Reid (censored version)


PTSD aka Post Trauma Sexual Desires **(censored)**

Author: BlueHarlequin

Disclaimer: Nothing of Criminal Minds belongs to me; this is not for profit. No copyright infringement intended.

Warnings: graphic sex between men. Angst.

A/N: unbeta'd. Please be kind. Updates are always posted in my profile. Feel free to PM me with comments or leave a review, I love hearing from ya'll! Due to some of the site requirements there are some alternate avenues to access my writing posted in my profile as well. **All the uncensored content is on my blog or the other fiction site.**

A/N+: Set pre-series after the incident in Boston and slightly before 1.1 "Extreme Aggressor."

Jason Gideon x Spencer Reid

Summary: It was downright perverse if you looked at in socially acceptable terms and conventions. Gideon was his mentor, a trusted father figure and many years older than him.

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Gideon had never questioned his sexual maturity. Morgan had always assumed that the awkward persona he had precluded any experience with females. Reid wondered if he realised that he was always like that, with both sexes. He just didn't like people touching him, therefore sex was not a viable form of interaction. Sex was the definitive exercise in touching. He wasn't asexual, he had urges; he had slept with a few girls. They were always fascinated by his cute face and thought they were doing him a favour; a nerd getting the opportunity to sleep with a girl. But sex was messy and too emotional. People got attached after sex and he couldn't handle the inevitable abandonment that happened when the other person realised that he couldn't give them what they wanted. The one and only time he had sex with Gideon had been awkward but oddly right. The man had taken his 'other' virginity. He supposed it was meant to happen, and if he really thought about it, the word 'taken' wasn't exactly correct. It was more like Reid had forced it on him. Two emotionally unavailable people engaging in an act that was supposed to be the ultimate expression in passion. It was downright perverse if you looked at in socially acceptable terms and conventions. Gideon was his mentor, a trusted father figure and many years older than him.

Reid tried to look at it vaguely in terms of Nabokov, but somehow the characters of Dolores and Humbert didn't exactly fit. Sure, he knew Gideon was fascinated with him but not in a sexual way. And as far as being childlike or flirtatious, not even Reid saw himself that way. Reid had pretty much initiated the encounter, going so far as to call it assault in his own mind, there had been nothing playful or coy about it. It may have been an act of comfort to the older man but for him it had been nothing but selfishness. He couldn't describe if it had been anger or annoyance but certainly the number one emotion that had motivated him was frustration. He had been frustrated by his mentor's attitude and he simply wanted it to go away.

He remembered that they had been playing chess at his house. It was one of the rare occasions that Gideon had opened up his personal space to him. Perhaps the older man had sensed the growing agitation in his youngest agent and in desperation sought some way to appease him. Gideon showed him how to make Pasta Primavera as part of their meal. Reid saw it for what it was, an attempt to reach out to him.

After dinner, the older man had shown him some of the avian prints around the apartment. Stopping at the opening to his bedroom Spencer made his move. He hadn't planned for the alien force that spurred him into action. In fact, as his body turned toward the former unit chief, he wondered if he had been possessed. "Gideon," his mouth seemed to move of its own volition, "I need you to be you again." The senior agent looked at his protégé in askance, not comprehending at first what Reid meant. Spencer stepped to the side of bed, the older man following him, observing his every move as if he were an UnSub to be studied, dissected. The young agent opened the nightstand drawer, looking for something suitable to ease the act he was about to perform.

"Spencer? What are you doing?" Spying a tube of KY Jelly he tossed it onto the bed. He pushed the thought out of his mind that it was there for someone else entirely, at this moment in time it would serve his needs. Gideon looked at him in shock and Reid took the opportunity to kiss him square on the mouth. He didn't care much for kissing, it was too personal, but somehow he had to convey what he was feeling to the other man. It also wasn't a tender kiss. Reid poured all of his frustration, anger and anxiety into it. His teeth clicked against Gideon's as he forced his tongue inside.

The older man must have come to an understanding over his youngest agent's behaviour, because instead of pushing him away, Gideon grasped his upper arms and pulled back to look at him closely. Reid held his breath as his mentor regarded him, calculating all the possible outcomes to their encounter. "Are you sure?" He asked. "This may not have the desired effect you are hoping for."

Reid wrestled him onto the bed. "Shh, don't worry about it. I'm just trying to help." He whispered. Who it was supposed to help was still up for debate. "I love you." Reid meant it. It was really perverse the way he meant it as well. He loved Gideon as a role model, as someone who was steadfast and hadn't let him down. He loved him for his faith in his abilities and for his constant support. Reid unbuttoned the man's shirt slowly pushing it off of his shoulders. Gideon was compliant, almost as if he had surrendered all control. Reid didn't mind the passivity, it served his purpose. He ran his hand slowly down the older man's chest. Reaching his pants, he unbuttoned them and pushed them down along with his underwear until they fell over the edge of the bed.

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**Due to Fanfiction Admin this portion of the story has been censored for explicit content.**

**Full version available on the other links provided in my profile.**

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An innumerable number of minutes passed; the silence of the room broken only by harsh breathing as the adrenaline bled out of them. Reid lay on his side facing away from the older man. He felt satisfied in a strange way, as if some sort of dam inside of him had broken and the resulting flood had washed away what was bothering him. He jerked as Gideon spoke his name.

"Spencer ..." Reid rolled over and put his finger over his mentor's lips.

"Gideon, please. I don't want to regret this and I don't want to hear if you do. I'm sorry. This may be selfish of me, but tomorrow I will continue as if nothing happened."

The older agent nodded, looking at Spencer in an oddly appraising manner; the youth lifted his fingers, taking his mentor's silence as acquiescence. As he moved to roll back over, the other man grabbed him and pulled him to rest against his chest. "I do not regret this ... Thank you."

Reid sighed in acknowledgement. He relaxed in the older man's embrace for a few minutes waiting for the right moment. Gideon's breathing evened out as he fell asleep and Reid eased out of his arms and off of the bed. After putting his clothes back on he kissed the older man softly on the lips. "Sleep well," he murmured, then turned and left the apartment.

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Fin

_Well, that was ... odd. I sort of broke my brain a bit on this one._

Reviews anyone?


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